Tuesday Magic Item – Boxed Kitchen

4 January, 2022

BoxVoddick glanced into the wagon and quickly hurried on.  “I know why the meal wagon always has excellent food for those willing to pay,” he said, sotto voice, to Gollaon.

“Indeed?” ask Gollaon looking toward the wagon.

“A kitchen box, one of the larger ones.”

Gollaon raised an eyebrow.  “Then no more eating well.  I do not trust those boxes.”

“That is just . . . I do not either.”

Boxed Kitchen

These boxes come in several sizes (each increasingly valuable) and they can be made of wood or metal or a mix of both and they are often decorated with culinary scenes.  The boxes are sturdy but surprisingly light until they are used, then they become surprisingly heavy.  They are used bu opening them, adding food, usually raw and then closing them.  Precisely an hour later, a meal will have been prepared from the ingrediants provided seved on simple dishes unless better were provided.

The boxes fix meals, up to three times a day, the owner can add food up to an amount equal to what would fit into the box, the box will then, clean, prepare and cook the provided food in precisely one hour.  It can only use what is provided though (except for water, it seems to have unlimited access to water).  If the owner wants the food to be more flavorful, they will need to add spices and herbs.  The box will use what it needs of the spices and herbs and store the rest for later.  The box will not use everything put inside, entrails, skin and bones usually just disappear, but it will occasionally create very odd dishes.

The owner has almost no control over what the box prepares for meals, they can try to shape it by including serving bowls and places, such as providing a soup turine will probably have it filled soup, probably.

Note that any animal or fish put in the box must be dead, otherwise, all of the food (and other items) put in with the living creature will simply disappear and one daily use of the box will be used.

The boxes are usually found in the following sizes: 24″ x 12″ x 12″ (61 cm x 30.5 cm x 30.5 cm), 36″ x 18″ x 12″ (91.5 cm x 46 cm x 30.5 cm) and 48″ x 18″ x 18″ (122 cm x 46 cm x 46 cm).

Aura moderate conjuration and transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 6,000, 8,000 or 12,000; Weight 3, 5 or 8 lbs (tripled while filled)
Construction Requirements
Craft wondrous item, fabricate, summon monster V; Cost 3,000, 4,000 or 6,000

For D&D 5E:

Wondrous item (box), uncommon, rare or very rare (small, medium or large)

As above.

Notes:  So, who is actually fixing all that food?  I do not know but here are some possibilities:

Devils, demons are too chaotic to make edible and interesting food, bound but very precise contracts to prepare safe food.  If it is devils they would probably try to occasionally “encode” their names into the food (patterns of raisins, layers of dough, nothing obvious that their supervisor would notice) with the hope that someone will say it and inadvertantly summon them.

Faeries, this is the sort of absurd, long term plan that the fae would love. When they can, they would make the foods provided alcoholic, mildly hallucinogenic or otherwise reality distorting. They would probably try to make artist designs in the food that were mocking or insulting towards those eating it.

Ghosts, trying to solve some problem from their past by preparing food, these lost spirits are bound into service. The foods they make are likely to be culturally tied to the lands the ghosts were from when they were alive. They would be likely to make decorations from bones that obliquely refer to their living selves and how they died.

Otherworldly Gourmands who welcome the chance to work with new and unusual (for them) foodstuffs, if these are the ones making your food, they are most likely to create bizarre, but entirely edible, dishes.

What ideas do you have for who is making the food?

Image OM-1988-0035 :: Kista (from 19th C Korean) from the Museum of Far Eastern Antiquities and used under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) license.

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