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Pattern Seekers – Episode 14: The Land of Milk and Honey

3 May, 2013

Returning from their visit to the dark castle, our heroes has a few weeks to rest up, before being summoned to a new task.  They are sent to the Kingdom of Low Cowsery, which barely qualifies as such, where they are instructed to help the king, and claim the 1,000 silver reward he was offering for the return of his Visse subjects, and that they will be facing down a threat to the Pattern.

Spoiler Note: Now, for this game I was actually running a module, the Lamentations of the Gingerbread Princess.  So if you do not want to be spoiled on that adventure, you should probably stop reading after I tell you that it is an excellent adventure and we had a great deal of fun playing through it.

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Passing through the gate, our heroes found themselves in Low Cowsery, passing though untended -and some looted and burned- Visse farms and apple orchards.  Talking to some local peasants, they found that Visse had been driven out by mobs.  They then go on to talk to the King, Connoley IV, and finds out that the King did not like the Visse either and let them be driven out and then realized that they were the major part of his tax base and now wants them back.  Mirror did not have kind things to say about Kings, specifically, “Kings, I don’t like kings.  They are not to be trusted.  They go mad you know.  And then their jester’s give the same gift to the king’s daughter.”

Our heroes spend the night in the castle and negotiate a decent deal for the Visse as a lure to get them back  the next morning before heading out to track the displaced Visse to the Dark Wood.  Their path is easy to follow, two hundred odd people with wagon is surprisingly simply to follow.   They camp outside of the Dark Wood, not wishing to venture in at night.  But the wood reaches out to them, at midnight a massive black wolfhound attacks the camp.  Each time it bit someone, another wolfhound grew from the spilled blood until there were four of them attacking our heroes, but they all shared the same life force and the final blow caused them all to shimmer back together, with the original hound bearing the wound inflicted upon all of them.  Theo skinned it afterward.

One the sun returned to the sky, they ventured into the Dark Wood, still finding the path easy going.  While there were strange noises, nothing bothered them until they found the abandoned Visse camp.  Following the trail away from the camp, they were distracted by a glowing green light, which proved to be coming from a fairy circle surrounded by multicolored mushroom and containing one very drunk green fairy, all of a foot tall.  Who promptly demanded booze.  Dr Martin gave her a potion of enlarge person, which she promptly drank and underwent a very cartoonish growth sequence which ended with her at five foot tall and still demanding booze.  They play her with a bottle of apple brandy, which she bite the end off of and guzzles, and a flask of grog.  In turn, she provides some information about where the Visse went and vomits fairy dust all over Tak (and gives him a magic mushroom “for later”).

Then then find a statue surrounded by a hedge, under such, it seems that many have crawled but none have emerged.  They decide to find out where it goes and emerge in the land of milk and honey, literally, there are two rivers, one of each.  The plain is covered with paper grass, the buildings are gingerbread suurounding an ivory tower, and animated teddy bears armed with kitchen instruments keep guard on the hundred of so surviving Visse, who have smiles plastered to their faces but look very unhealthy.  Things happened and the teddy bears attacked, leading the scene of them swarming over Dr Martin in his transformed form, Pho the lioness tearing them apart stuffing flying everywhere and the discovery that they burned very easily.

They then stormed the tower, defeated the fairy queen, discovered the statue and the wish it granted that created all this and the little Visse girl who made the wish.  They meet a fae lord and are given two routes to end the suffering of the Visse, kill the girl or make another wish . . . Tak decides to make a wishes and the land of milk and honey is swept away and they are returned to the real world.  The Visse are saved and returned, the reward is claimed and all is well . . . right?  Time will tell.

Next Pattern Seeker Episode here.

Notes: Special shout out to T2 for printing out a color copy of the module so we could use the color maps and share the wonderful artwork.

And my slightly more expansive review of the Lamentations of the Gingerbread Princess adventure.

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